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How Big Is God?

 I met my Grandmother Suderman in the first
year of my life.  I was her first
grandchild.  There were small moments
during my life that imprinted themselves on my heart.  Seeing her bent over working in the garden,
carrying eggs in her apron to the house, 
bringing pumpkin pie to the table on a bright sunny Sunday morning on
the farm and hearing her pray for each of her grandchildren in the dark of the
night in her bedroom and her happy smile.
I
love the stories my Mom told about Grandmother’s faith and love.  Grandmother had ten children.  Four children died and were buried in the
Ebenfeld Cemetery.  Daniel (1901-1907), Gerhard
(1904-1904),  Hilda (1911-1912),  Paul Gerhard (1914-1916). When Daniel was 6
years old, he asked his Papa to put the halter on the horse by himself and he
gave permission.  Somehow the tame horse
was spooked and Grandpa and Grandma heard hoofs pounding on the driveway.  They saw little Daniel battered and
beaten.  After Daniel was buried, Grandma walked out to the orchard to stand
beside the blooming cherry trees.  Here
she literally shook her fist at God as she cried out, “You took my son…so take
the cherries, too.”
  Grandma wept and
fell asleep.
“The next
morning the house was cold.  When Anna looked
out toward the orchard, she saw the cherry trees blackened with frost in the
morning sun.  The sight gave her a
strange peace.  God had answered her
prayers.”
  (From The
Lines are Fallen
by Anna Daisy Siemens) (http://emilys-snippets.com/family-suderman/vi-tragedies/) 
Grandmother
Suderman accepted the deaths of Gerhard, Hilda and Paul.  Once each year she took out the box of a few
of the clothing her babies wore.  She
held each piece, remembered and prayed for each precious child.  The sampler mentioned on this page hangs in
our Dan’s home.
Did
my Grandmother learn to accept life—and death and misfortune?  I think she must have memorized the wisdom of
Solomon from Ecclesiastes 3:1-3.  For her
life was filled with faith and prayer through all adversity during her 50 years
of marriage to Gerhard Suderman. 
“For everything there is
a season,

    a time for every
activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a
time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and
a time to build up.”
There
are no answers for our ‘why’s’ – except to accept and trust God as a
child.  No wonder we are to be as little
children, abandoning ourselves to God. 
Trusting, crying out to God for direction and comfort.   Who is this God, this Creator of the
Universe?  Why do we often want to
circumvent his leading?  Why do we desire
our wilful way instead of listening to God? 
Why is it so easy to try to de-God and elevate ourselves, in our
lives? 
How impossible it is for
us to understand his decisions
and his ways! Romans 11:33b
How do we measure God’s
love?  His love is bigger than earth
itself, our galaxy or universe.  Before
time, God’s love IS.  His love is infinite
– without beginning or end. 
We can never understand his
love or his ways.
Every time I see an
intricate snowflake falling from the sky, every time I learn more about this
universe that God put into motion, the more I understand just how small I
am.  And I leap with joy and praise of
the blessings He gives us all.  First of
all, He created me and was with me as He knit my bones together in my Mom’s
womb.  I am blessed to see His light
around me to keep me from stumbling in the dark.  I saw His light in the countenance of both of
my parents as they drew their last breath. This gave me comfort.

Through death, I understand
what the important things of life are! 
It is love for God is love. And then we remember who we are in this
universe and why we are here.  Simply to
love.  The very first memory verse I
learned was, “God is Love.”  I didn’t
know then how many facets there are in love. 
As one man said, Love IS.  There is no beginning and no end to love.  Just as The Word declares in Revelation
21:5-7 – He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making
everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are
trustworthy and true.”
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning
and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of
the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all
this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.”


 Once again, death has come. This time death
came to close the eyes of our son, Dan, last night.  Memories of Dan flood my heart and soul.  Once again I can affirm with tears how
precious our son is.  The emptiness of my
heart is filled with prayers and love. 
How often I think that those two things that fill me with thanksgiving
and the promise we have through Christ Jesus of eternal life.
I found this on line… When we’re filled with God’s love, where can selfishness, pride
and hate live?
Love is the first of the fruit of the
Spirit.  My grandmother learned the true
measure of love as she opened the box of memories of her four babies every year.
When Dan’s twin did not live at birth, we tasted a small measure of the sting
of death. This time death has taken a piece of those who knew and loved
Dan.  There are no cherry blossoms in
bloom, yet Grandma Suderman left an unmeasurable legacy of faith, joy and love
that strengthens me.
And
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have
power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and
high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love
that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God.
  Ephesian 3:17b – 19

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