My Soul Stands on Tiptoe!

Heaven, and her determination to be faithful to the end. Each prayer touched me in her child-like faith and her “Be-Withes”.

The “Be-With’s” included children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren by name, friends, church family and those who cared for her during her illness. She wrote these prayers after she collapsed in June 1994. She was then diagnosed and came to spend her last 4 years with us, until her release when she was 91 years old. What did think about? What filled her days…and nights? Through these snippets of prayer, I grew to know Mom and her faith. I wondered how many more older people have experienced the same thoughts and prayers without writing the words that convey their last journey.

April 3, 1995

Thank you for a good night…I always wonder…will I sleep but somehow I always do. One of these days you will keep me in your realm forever. I appreciate the verses – I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, he heard my cry. for mercy. Because he turned His ear to me. I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2.

I thank you for the great I AM! The God who makes everything possible – you forgive my sins – day by day as you did that day when you died on the cross.

And those who hurt, who are chained by ills, sorrow and selfishness . You know what they need. Be with your servants who serve you around the world. And rule my world and polish me so that I can go home. I love you and want to serve you.

April 4, 1995

The Alpha and Omega – Beginning and End

The One which is and was – And is to come

In love you gave your Son – As a Lamb, We praise your name

I AM that I AM.

One more day to polish me up for eternity. Teach me to be a teachable soul so I can go home soon. I thank you for forgiveness of sins and wiping them clean over and over. Let me recognize my wilful sins and lean on you not to repeat them.

Bless them who labor for you – not where they want to work but where they are, led by your hand like an obedient child – not singing a solo, but sweeping the floor or not arranging a bouquet, but scrubbing a toilet. Let me stand in line first to do a dirty job and praise God while doing it.

Abba, Father, May I lay my weary head on your breast like the worn-out tent I am, with so little strength left. And yet, you have given me so much. There is so much joy in your Word. It comforts and warms and blesses me. It pours over me like perfume to give me a foretaste of heaven.

April 6, 1995

My Heavenly Father,

Thank you, thank you, never let me forget my thanks, regardless of the aches and inconveniences. You give me so many good things. I am loved, fed and cared for. I can still walk to the bathroom and to the breakfast table. I can still read. I can still read your Word and please let it me not think it is meant for my neighbor.

April 7, 1995

Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all our generations

Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world from everlasting to everlasting. You are God! You gave me strength for nearly 88 years of life on earth. You have given me more joy than pain. Pain seems to last longer – but we might not appreciate joy if we had no pain.

Today, I thank you for a warm bath, a good night and love here in my room and above all my hope of eternal life through God’s eternal love. Bend your ear to hear my prayer – release me soon. Give me work so I can be polished for home shortly, and keep my mind as long as I am here on this beautiful world you created.

Thank you for April flowers and colors and birds that sing

Help our church leaders – give them wisdom and desire to know your Word and how to teach. Help every leader to know that followers read actions more than words. Help them to be an example.

Let me pray for our minister and not criticize. Let the leaders never keep their wills out of God’s will. It’s difficult to understand God sometimes – the Spirit speaks clearly to those who are stable enough to listen. Be with the elders – help us all read the rules that God sets. God, you worked so hard with Peter. He was not stable. So, dear Father, when I face disappointment at church, you are merely polishing them, and my own soul.

“Thank you for holding me day by day – and to know you will never leave me. But I also know I am responsible for my every action. Help to keep me aware of my every action. Thank you for being You and always with Jesus’ love!”

Let me walk in your love as long as you keep me on this earth.

Have my soul stand on tiptoe so I will be ready when angels come to take me home.

I long for that day. Teach me to thank you with each breath I take. In Jesus’ Name