Identity Amnesia

Who am I?  In today’s world, we often wonder who we are.  We go through so many phases in life and in each phase we wonder who we are and why we are on this planet earth.  We carry an ID with us to prove who we are.  As we enter adulthood we are known by our social security card with a number, our tax code, our driver’s license, our address, our telephone number(s), plus our medical records.
As a young girl I grew up with loving parents and two siblings.  When I was a teen I wanted to get away from the rules Mom and Dad placed on me.  I don’t know what day it was when I realized that those very same rules were applied in college, in a job, in marriage.  And they were but a step-stone in learning to obey God…every moment of every day.
Sometimes the I Am’s of life are overwhelming.  And you wonder who am I, really? I am a daughter, I am a student, I am a wife and the next I am was eye-opening for me.  I am a mother.  The moment came shortly after yet another move.  Breakfast time, and as I turned to the table I saw three little boys watching me expectantly – their eyes wide open. Suddenly the responsibility of three little lives hit me with the truth – I am a mother.  Then I Am a teacher. 
Then my three little boys and a daughter grew up and I am a grandmother was a matter of rejoicing. Then came the wonder of great grandchildren.  When we received the diagnosis Dementia – for my life long husband, I added a new I Am.  I am a caregiver.  Suddenly the weight of caring for my husband became heavy, and I realized I could not do this alone.  The understanding of I am a believer and follower of Jesus Christ became clear.  No longer did my motto, how hard could it be didn’t excite me.   
For years, my real identity eluded me, and now I know the joy of coming to life.  I find strength through depending on God to give me strength.  I am no longer trying to do everything on my own.  I depend on His leading, realizing I am in a ‘wilderness’ of life.
One decision I made when 8 years old created an identity that paints the ultimate of who I am…that forever changes the who I am.  So many years I lived invincible in doing.  The bravado, I can do it by myself, is no longer true.  Belonging to Jesus, truly aware of His leading in my life gives new levels of meaning to my life.
This journey is not a solo performance. Without family and friends’ support and prayers, caregiving would truly never happen.  All the caregivers have compassion and concern from the doctors to the CNA’s. 
Curious, I wondered about the Word – and the first scripture I find is this:  God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’”  Exodus 3:14.
Moses had the authority of God behind him as he led the children Israel from slavery.  Jesus has authority to lead us from our slavery to sin to the freedom living in Him.  And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him;  and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”  Matthew 3:16-17
Jesus has the authority from the Father God.  No other god can say that.
The ‘I ams’ from Jesus tell all we need to know about our lives in Jesus. Read and draw your own conclusions…
† – Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  Matthew 11:29
† -Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.  John 6:35
† – Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12
† – Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6
† – And iI go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.  John 14:3
† – This is the Jesus, the one and only son of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He is not God of the dead, but of the living.”  Mathew 22:32
When I consider who I am, I know one thing…and the one thing is that I agree with David, who writes in many Psalms that he is in trouble.  Then he rejoices in Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
In this day and age, I need certainty, I need some one I can fully depend on and trust.  The decision I made 78 years ago sustains me even more today.  God brought me to the realization of the real I Am of my life. The amnesia of identity is gone.
I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”  Revelation 1:8
“And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.”  Revelation 22:7

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